Invitation Etiquette

When it comes to sending wedding invitations there are many questions couples have. In order to best answer your guests when they start calling and emailing you with their questions on kids and plus one's, here are some answers to frequently asked questions by event planner Tara Manchanda from top event planning company NYC Tara M.Events.



1.       Who Should We Invite?

Start off by making a list with your partner and highlight the guests that MUST be included. From there figure out a maximum number you want to have, that your venue can hold, and most importantly that you can afford. Starts off with immediate family, close friends and from there work on to extended family members.

2.       When should we send our wedding invitations?

If you are having a wedding in town, invitations should go in the mail eight weeks in advance. This gives people plenty of time to plan ahead, RSVP and make travel plans. You should also include a date to RSVP by. Make your RSVP date four weeks before your wedding date in order to ensure plenty of time to contact guests who forget to respond, and get a final count to all your vendors. If you are having a destination wedding or most of your guests are from out of town be sure to extend these dates in order for them to plan for travel time!

3.       What happens if someone does not RSVP?

The exact reason that you include an RSVP by date is to ensure yourself enough time to contact guests who have forgotten to respond. It is going to happen, everyone is busy! Keep track of who has and has not RSVP’d and contact anyone who has forgotten. Many family members may assume you are aware that they will be there, but it is more important for you to have it in written confirmation than word of mouth.

4.       Who get’s a plus one?

You do not have to give everyone a plus one. Be realistic about the number of people you are having at your wedding. If you cannot afford to invite a plus one for all your guests, you do not have to. To keep things less complicated stick with an at least six month rule. If a guest has been in a relationship with someone for six months, they can have a plus one. BUT, be specific. It is important to include on the invitation the name of the guest, rather than just “Guest” to ensure that if the couple breaks up, they are not including a random person on your special day.  If people start to include guests on their RSVP cards who were not given a plus one, be sure to contact them as soon as possible. Let them know your list is restricted. Be kind, but stand your ground.

5.       How do we tell guest they cannot bring their kids?

Be honest with your guests! Families should assume that their children are not invited unless the invitation is addressed to the whole family. Be clear and specific with your guests stating exactly who is invited on the envelope of the invitation. If you want an adult only wedding, be sure this is noted at the bottom of the invitation. If you would like to invite a select handful of kids, feel free to discuss that directly with your guests.